Plaid.
Yes… the favorite of Russian lesbians*:
*Are the members of t.A.T.u. lesbians? A question that has kept many a teenage boy up at night listening to Running Thru my Head on repeat. Clever girls.
Of Scottish history enthusiasts:
Strippers/Porn Producers/Bret Michales:
And Aspiring Pop Stars the world over thanks to Mrs. Oh my God that Britney’s Shameless:
With all these awesome examples of plaid in real life acceptable fashion situations, its clearly a perfect choice for the office. WRONG.
This teaching moment is brought to you by the lady who figured a short pink plaid skirt, paired with a tight rocker tee and combat boots looked more high powered sales associate then Avril Lavine circa 1997:
(Exact outfit twin, except for the color of the plaid.)
So here’s the catch… almost everyone knows how not to wear plaid, unless you want to embody any of the above, but what about actually wearing it?
I give the lady props for trying to rock a not so overused fabric but RULE #1 DO NOT PAIR A PLAID SKIRT WITH COMBAT BOOTS UNLESS YOU LIVE IN JAPAN, SING IN A DISCOTEK, OR HANG OUT IN PIKES PLACE MARKET IN YOUR SPARE TIME SELLING ART.
Rule #2: Size does matter. The shorter the skirt, the bigger the ho. (A phrase usually used for the size if hoops, I find it easily able to make a cameo in this situation)
Rule #3: Do not wear just a white shirt of any kind with the skirt (collared, flowered, tight, or billowy… it doesn’t mater), if you don’t instantly want to look like you are ditching Sr. Religious Studies with Mother Nancy, 6th period to hit the mall with your fellow rule breakers. (Ohhh Behave)
Rule #4: DO cover up on top… by nature of the skirt, you are already on a train to skank-town… CONTRAST CREATES INTEREST AND BALANCE.
The goal here is to make people be pleasantly surprised by the skirt, not to confirm what they already know… Plaid is for HohoHos and the 1990s (always love a Clueless shout-out). So go forth and plaid, just leave the patent black pumps and knee socks at home.
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a.teaching.moment 